EssaysFrom the Friend of Frank archive
Hats
Four reasons I wear hats, one of which involves the scaly things on my face that can turn into cancer.
DOMESTIC LIFEHEALTH & AGING
Why hats?
They protect my tender face.
They look good.
No one else wears them.
They draw attention. <a href="https://www.vecteezy.com/free-png/top-hat">Top Hat PNGs by Vecteezy</a>
They protect my tender face.
I have these scaly things on my face. They’re called actinic keratoses. They can turn into cancer. Long ago my dermie gave me an Rx and counseled me to wear sunscreen. I dislike sunscreen (though I do wear it). But I figured, if sunscreen protects against sun, why not wear a hat and block the sun altogether?
They look good.
If you're old enough, you remember your dad wearing a hat. Your dad, your grandpa, your uncles, every man you knew, maybe some kids too. Hats in winter, hats in summer, fedoras and panamas and maybe even 10-gallons. Most men didn’t leave home without their hat.
That changed in 1960. John F. Kennedy attended his presidential inauguration bareheaded. It was Jan. 20, deep winter in DC. According to Wikipedia, “A major winter storm occurred the day before the inauguration, with temperatures at 20 °F (−7 °C) and snowfall at 1–2 inches (2.5–5.1 cm) per hour[7] and a total of 8 inches (20 cm) during the night,[8] causing transportation and logistical problems in Washington and serious concern for the inauguration.[7][8][9][10]” Perhaps inspired by Kennedy’s savoir faire, guys quit wearing hats.
No one else wears them.
Things really haven’t changed much since 1960. Guys wear caps, sure, but straw hats in summer aren't all that common and felt hats in winter are rarer still. Most caps are, in my humble estimation, declassé. (More on caps and other headgear classé and declassé below.)
But strangers on the street hail me with ‘Nice hat, man!’
(Interestingly, the compliments come mostly from Black men of a certain age. [I am White.] Recently though I got 'Nice hat, man!' from a White guy -- wearing, no surprise, a panama like the one I had on.)
Hats draw attention.
I bought my first hat on a trip to the beach. The hat was a cheap straw fedora from a tourist shop. I bought it for sun protection. It looked great though.
At the time it happened that I was getting headshots in support of my publisher self. The photographer said to bring changes of clothes. I showed up in my best double-breasted suit and posed for dozens of shots. I looked like Napoleon on a bad day. But for some reason I’d also brought the beach hat and a beach shirt. Toward the end of the shoot I donned them.
Frank at his best. (c) Point of View Studio
The resultant shot was maybe the best ever taken of me. I used it for years until finally I just got too old and didn’t look like the photo any more.
During those years as a publisher, I was an active participant in our trade group, the Newsletter Publishers Assn., and a sometime speaker at NPA meetings. A fellow NPA member (and sometime speaker herself), one Sarah Stambler, always wore hats to meetings. They were black pillbox-ish affairs, a bit old-lady but not in a bad way.
Sarah was an Orthodox Jew who wore them for religious reasons. I liked the effect though. So one time, when I was on a program to speak, I put on the beach hat.
The neon sign look
It was like putting a neon sign on my head.
This ‘sign’ had no words ... but boy, did it draw attention. Everyone knew me. Later, when I added the persona of 'marketing guru' to that of 'publisher,' the hat evolved from a lark to a trademark. I was now The Guy in the Hat. When my persona evolved again, to author, I had every reason to keep the hat.
I’ve added hats of course. I have a few nice felt fedoras for winter, including a very Bogart item I ought to wear oftener, plus a quirky number I picked up last summer that looks panama-y but is made of processed paper, not straw.
The Bogart look
What to wear, what not to wear.
Fedoras are what my dad wore, fedoras are what I wear. You can’t look bad wearing a fedora. This goes for women too.
Casual caps are tacky, including those with home-team logos, but a houndstooth-check Shetland or a natty Kangol can be a fashion statement. My favorite cap is a brown Stetson made of suede. I bought it in Santa Fe at the end of a ski trip. I resisted but son Sam and ski buddy Bill talked me into it. Really glad they did.
I really shouldn’t wear casual caps ... but I do. They're easier than hats, they protect against the sun, they’re often cheap or free, some even look sort of OK. But they’re still … caps.
I never wear caps backward. I have my self-respect.
The suede cap look
You may draw from the above that I’m some sort of Beau Brummel. I’m not, believe me. I like to look good but I still incline to the preppy style of college days.
Thing about hats though is, there’s no need for a closet-full of the latest styles. I don the ol’ panama and I imagine people whispering to themselves, Who is that bold dude? Then: Maybe I’ll buy a hat too.
Frank S Joseph Author
P.S. To Do Justice and To Walk Humbly both are now available as downloads.
P.P.S. To Love Mercy will be available as a download later this year from Key Literary. Meanwhile you can still order the 2006 Mid Atlantic Highlands paperback from me -- autographed of course -- as well as To Do Justice and To Walk Humbly. Just click these links: