Dick Cheney and me

About a month ago, I scheduled surgery to replace a near-useless left knee. But first I needed clearance from my cardiologist, Dr Flyer.

I flunked.

Turned out my aorta was “severely” calcified. The adjective was “moderate” last time Dr Flyer saw me.

Didn't matter. “No knee now," said Dr Flyer. "Let’s take care of your aorta first."

This is the same cardiologist who, several years ago, said my heart was one “any 20-year-old would be happy to have.” That’s an exact quote. Who could forget such words?

Turns out he spoke prematurely.

Dr Flyer sent me to George Washington University Hospital in downtown Washington DC where I met Dr Jonathan Reiner.

Dr Reiner is what is known as an “interventional cardiologist,” which means he specializes in catheterization. He’s also a chummy guy.

“What did you do for a living?” he asked.

“I was – am – a writer,” I said.

Dr Reiner brightened. “I’d like to talk about that!” he said.

Figuring he was a shlepper like the rest of us, I said sure, any time, I love to talk about writing.

Dr Reiner assumed a bashful expression. “I’ve actually written something,” he said.

Oh?

“It’s a book about Dick Cheney’s heart. Cheney wrote the memoir part. I wrote the medical part.”

Oh???

“The former vice president is my patient, you see. Has been for 15 years.”

Oh!!!!!!!!!

“The title of the book is Heart: An American Medical Odyssey. It was published by Simon & Schuster.”

Book cover image © Simon & Schuster

Oh. Oh sh*t.

“There’s nothing I can tell you about writing,” I said. “You tell me.”

Dr Reiner’s expression grew more modest still. “Well, uh, we pitched the book directly to the president of Simon & Schuster.”

And thus did Dick Cheney’s heart doctor become my heart doctor too.

I told Dr Reiner I would read the book and I did, listened to the audiobook actually. It’s quite interesting, especially where he spells out the procedure he performed on me.

The procedure is known as TAVR, short for transcatheter aortic valve replacement. What it is, is a miracle.

Herewith my understanding of what TAVR is. (You can read in detail from the Mayo Clinic here.)

Step 1: open the femoral artery at the top of the inner thigh.

Step 2: slide a catheter all the way up into the calcified aorta.

Step 3: at the tip of the catheter is a balloon-like stent plus a little gizmo that will become my new aorta. The balloon blows up, expanding the old aorta to accommodate the new one. Then the balloon deflates, leaving the new TAVR valve seated inside the old calcified valve.

Step 4: catheter slides back out, Frankie wakes up, gets wheeled off to the ICU.

Step 5: where he spends the night under close observation. When all goes well, next day they send him home.

If this isn’t rocket science, tell me what is.

Twenty or thirty years ago, my sister Judy had not one but two heart valves replaced. Back then there was no such thing as TAVR. They cracked her open like a walnut and performed the most heroic of surgeries on her poor ticker.

I went to the recovery room following the second one (mitral valve). She was so swollen and distended I didn’t recognize her, my baby sister.

Afterward they put Judy on coumadin, a blood thinner. It lets her live but with many many limitations. The worst is that she can never have another surgery, or anyway not without super-precautions. Otherwise she would bleed out.

Each of Judy’s recoveries took weeks, months. Mine is essentially over after one week. Judy is on coumadin for life. I’m on an 81mg baby aspirin for life.

I called Judy after I got home. She knew all about TAVR. “I’d have had it if I could have waited 20 years,” she said. “But I couldn’t.”

Today is exactly one week since I had the TAVR procedure. I took a lot of naps the first four days, but yesterday I was out and about and today I feel quite normal. I have an appearance scheduled on Thursday night. It's about a 45-minute drive from my home. I expect to keep the date.

Now, about that knee replacement …

Frank S Joseph Author

P.S. Have you read To Walk Humbly yet? It’s Book II of my award-winning Chicago Trilogy and it’s available now on Amazon. Better yet, get a signed copy directly from me and enjoy a 20% discount especially for readers of this posting. “The cast is large and diverse, and their often charming, relatable interactions will draw readers deeply into the story,” Kirkus Reviews said, calling To Walk Humbly “A vibrant tale of 1950s Chicago.”

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